I, take you, to be my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

The words in the paragraph above are spoken once, and perhaps repeated at a twenty-fifth anniversary.  Promises are best remembered when spoken every day.  However, through the pain and hurt that can occur in marriage, the lenses of the eye become blurry to where one no longer sees a spouse as the love of their life, but as the enemy.   Old wounds resurface, tensions and arguments start to boil over with anger, battle lines are drawn, and weapons are unleashed in order to strike back.  The more pain that can be inflicted the better.  After all, the ultimate strategy of war is to wound the enemy, not to love and cherish them.

However, there is another way to win the war and maintain our promises - Jesus lays out the plan. 

Luke 6:27-28 (NIV), “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you”. 

He meant everyone in our lives, including the people who live inside the walls of our home.  Jesus uses challenging words of engagement in Luke that requires implementation.

• love your enemies
• do good to those who hate you.
• speak well of
• pray for, intercede for

Jesus did not come to make us comfortable Christians; he came to make us radically courageous.  He pushes us to do things that are fundamentally different than what the world teaches.  Kindness and love toward an enemy are unheard of. 

In marriage, there is no battle worth winning.  Surrender to a loving and giving God by both partners is required.  There are times when you will be the one that God asks to raise the white flag.  And when that happens, it doesn’t mean the battle gets set aside to reenact another day.  It means the battle is over, never to happen again… to be forgiven, the blood washed away, and the wounds healed. 

Take the time to prominently display your marriage vows where you will see them everyday. They will provide a great reminder that you do not live with an enemy, but the love of your life.