I came across this excellent blog post (so take a read first), then come back here.

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/08/605-having-doesnt-count-list.html

The DLC (Doesn’t Count List) really makes you think, doesn’t it?

Have you thought about the Doesn’t Count List when it comes to your marriage?

• It doesn’t count if I look a little longer than I should at someone other than my spouse
• It doesn’t count if I talk, joke, or smile with a co-worker of the opposite sex
• It doesn’t count if I share secrets or intimate details with someone that I don’t share with my spouse
• It doesn’t count if I chat with another male or female online
• It doesn’t count if I forget to schedule a date night, my spouse will forgive me
• It doesn’t count if I’m working hard for the family and miss dinner a few nights a week
• It doesn’t count if I use a few cruel words, since my spouse spewed a few at me
• It doesn’t count when I spend a little extra money on myself - I deserve it
• It doesn’t count if I go out for a meal with someone from the office of the opposite sex - alone
• It doesn’t count when I stay up late at night on the computer and view things that are pleasurable to me, since my spouse isn’t providing the amount of sex I need.

I don’t know exactly when this started, but I find myself nudging my husband several times throughout the night to stop his snoring.  It starts out as a low rumbling growl and by 2:00 a.m., it’s a runaway train going full steam ahead.

My poor husband has endured nasal surgery, a sleep apnea test, a wheat-free diet, nose strips, nose spray, a room steam machine, and throat spray.  I’ve worn ear plugs, but find none to be very comfortable.  Sleeping in another room is not a good marriage choice for maintaining intimacy.  However, I’ve considered intravenous coffee drips to get myself going in the morning.

The past twelve nights I have spent alone because my husband has been in Kentucky taking care of his mother.  The first two nights he was away, I fell asleep and didn’t move an inch the entire night - not even to pee.  The next four nights, I couldn’t fall asleep until I was exhausted at 1:00am.    I never thought I would say this…for the past five nights, I’ve missed his snoring. 

When he is home tomorrow night and snoring away, I will smile, nuzzle a little closer, and fall asleep to the sound I’ve missed for the past several nights. I am grateful he will be coming home to me.  There will be a day, when I’ll wish, I could hear my husband snoring - one more time.

One of the unfortunate truths of marriage is, there will come a time when the words ”I don’t love you anymore” enter our thoughts and are openly spoken to our spouse. There’s a great story that appeared in the New York Times on the steps a woman took when her husband told her these exact words.

Be sure to read both pages to the article.

It seems that the extra mental stimulation and social challenges we provide each other in marriage are beneficial.  Who knew there was something brain stimulating about a good old fashioned disagreement?

Results of a study of 1400 people from Finland, reported in the British Medical Journal, found individuals at greatest risk for Alzheimer’s disease are those who were widowed or divorced in middle age.  This article appeared in Sunday’s Parade Magazine in the Chicago Tribune.

There was a very encouraging post Wednesday, August 5, 2009 about my husband on Mitch Temple’s (Focus on the Family) blog.

http://mitchtemple.ning.com/profiles/blogs/marriage-its-not-just-a

There was a great press conference held last week with rising Florida Gator’s Quarterback Tim Tebow where he was asked the question, “Are you saving yourself for marriage?”  His response was, “Yes, I am.”  This left the reporter stumbling over his words.  A moment of silence spread over the news conference followed by uncomfortable laughter.

The reporters obviously didn’t know how to respond to a young man who believes sex is meant solely for marriage.  I’m sure most of the reporters thought he was from another planet.  Or, were completely dumbfounded that such a creature still walks the face of the earth.

This press conference clearly cemented the ambivalent feelings the media and popular culture have for virgins and virginity.  I wonder what the level of ostracism would have been from colleagues if another reporter in the room stood up and said, “Way to go Tim, that’s an honorable thing to do. Keep following God’s design for your future.” 

A couple of years ago, cities across the country had billboards up that said, “Virgin - Teach Your Kids It’s Not A Dirty Word.”   This young man’s parents obviously taught this lesson well.  I’m praying that Tim Tebow continues to speak openly about his virginity and confirms what studies have shown for years.

• Sex is well worth waiting for
• Sex is better in marriage
• Sex is better with couples who have a spiritual connection

In his infinite wisdom, God has a very well laid out plan for purity.  He wants each of us to experience it with our mind, our heart, our eyes, and our body - before marriage and after.

• 1 Corinthians 6:20 - Honor God with your body.
• 1 Peter 1:14-15 - Live in obedience - don’t live to satisfy your own desires. Be holy in all your manner and conduct of living
• 1 John 3:2-3 - It’s important to keep our eyes focused on resembling Christ. For he is pure - we are to keep ourselves pure.
• Matthew 7:21, 3:8 - What is required is serious, not casual obedience.  Do not use people to make you feel loved or important. Don’t do what is the popular thing to do.  Let your life reflect what is in your heart.
• Deuteronomy 6:24 - God has given us guidelines that are designed to preserve and bless our lives.
• 1 Peter 2:9 - You are chosen and deeply loved by God.  You can speak out about God’s goodness and the difference he has made in your life - from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
• Romans 1:19 - Ignoring God eventually leads to a downward spiral - a place that lacks hope and is filled with desperation. Deep down, people know the truth about God, he has made it obvious.
• 2 Timothy 2:20-22 - If you keep yourself pure, you will be used by God for honorable and noble purposes. Run away from the evil things that young people long for. Try hard to do what is right.
• Hebrews 12:14 - Are you so hungry for something that you will do ANYTHING to get that desire satisfied?   Some of you are there right now; ready to sell your future for something that is so insignificant right now.