There was an intriguing article in the New York Times on June 26th that mentions decreasing divorce rates. The perpetual statistic that floats around is, half of all marriages end in divorce.  However, this article shows the rates for men are significantly lower, and suggests it has more to do with getting married later in life.

After mentoring pre-marital couples for almost 12 years, I would agree that those over the age of 25 have an increased potential for success.  There is a greater sense of purpose, confidence, knowledge, careers are established, and many own their own homes.  Also, untying the financial strings from mom and dad makes a substantial difference.

Maybe… just maybe…there is a glimmer of hope for marriage.  Wouldn’t it be amazing if couples were actually proud to be married and encouraged others to work it out and stay married? 

I wonder what changes we would see in society if marriage was an esteemed institution held in high regard?

I think Date Nights ought to be called Life Saver Nights.  They provide moments for fun, laughter, and relaxation - components that infuse oxygen into every marriage.  Fun is the cornerstone that initially moves a relationship toward marriage, and it’s the key element that keeps a marriage alive.

What are you doing to have fun in your marriage?

Growthtrac.com is releasing a Weekly Date Night Channel in coming weeks that will provide couples with great date night ideas and meaningful conversation topics. 

Consider passing out fliers to friends and neighbors to make them aware of the opportunity for great date night ideas and start a babysitting co-op.  It’s an opportunity to build community, and you’ll be providing encouragement for each other’s marriages.  Prepare a monthly calendar so all is fair in watching everyone’s kids, and distribute to the couples who participate.

Date nights do not need to be expensive, especially when families are watching their budgets.  There are fun things to do for $20 or less that allows time for connection and respite from the daily stresses of home.  This is what the Weekly Date Night Channel at Growthtrac.com will provide - low cost, fun ways to spend time together.

This week I was going through old frames I had stashed away.  As I turned a frame over to wipe off the years of dust, I opened the back and discovered a hidden picture of my husband at the age of 17.  He had long thick black hair, large framed glasses that covered half his face, was wearing a brightly colored silk shirt with several top buttons opened to expose whatever chest hair he had, and a lazy sexy smile. This is the year I fell in love with him.

On the radio yesterday, I heard a statistic that said the average woman kisses 79 men before she finds the one she marries.  My first reaction was surprise as I thought back to the number of young men I kissed before I found my true love - it was 3!  As I looked at the picture of my husband at the age of 17, I realized my heart still skips a beat for the 3rd man I ever kissed.  I’m grateful it didn’t take me 79 men to figure this out and that God has given me 33 years of marriage to this man.

Several years ago we were at a restaurant for our anniversary.  The young man seating us asked if we were there for a special occasion. We responded with, “Yes, we’re here for our 27th anniversary!”  The young man said, “Man, that’s longer than when I was born.  I just turned 26.”  My husband and I were ready to crawl under the table. We decided we would respond with, “a long, long time,” in the future.

Our position on sharing the years we have been married has changed as we approach our 33rd wedding anniversary this month.  We now do so with a smile and sense of pride.   One uplifting positive response recently received was, “You don’t look old enough to be married that long.”  The most common reaction is one of shock, rather than a smile and pat on the back for a job well done.  Seldom do we hear, “Congratulations, what’s your secret?”   It’s quite entertaining and a fascinating commentary on how people really feel about marriage.

Proudly announce the number of years you have been married.  It’s an accomplishment and something to be very proud of.  And, if asked, be willing to share the secret to your marital success.  My husband and I have become quite bold by saying, “Jesus Christ is at the center of our marriage.” 

Anticipate a speechless reaction.