There is something I’ve been observing in conversation with couples about the level of spirituality in their marriage.  It starts with verbal or mental comparisons, and without warning, the individual is in a place of spiritual superiority over their spouse.

Example:
I’m growing more spiritually because…

• I pray
• I read scripture
• I belong to a bible study
• I fast
• I meditate
• I serve in more ministries
• I listen to more praise and worship music
• I attend more church services
  And… the list goes on.

We become the rulekeeper of the spiritual to-do list.  We may not realize it, but this puffs us up with pride.  Pride is so destructive that it ruptures spiritual connection in marriage.  Instead of building the connectedness we desire, we slather layers of guilt on our spouse by making them feel they will never measure up to our spiritual standards.

I’m familiar with this scenario since it happened in my marriage.  I was new to my faith and learning to participate in spiritual disciplines, when my husband was still finding his way in his relationship with God.   Puffing myself up about my spiritual growth did not create spiritual intimacy between us, but pushed him further away and made him feel inadequate.

Maybe it’s time to shred the spiritual to-do list.