On a recent road trip, I had the chance to read a new book by Dr. Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham called From Anger to Intimacy: How Forgiveness Can Transform Your Marriage.  I am a big fan of Dr. Smalley and have read many of his books, but I especially like the perspective of Ted Cunningham, a young pastor from Missouri.

There are terrific concepts throughout this book, but let me provide you with some of my favorites.

• I.  When anger takes up residence in a marriage, sexual intimacy moves out.  Anger is like a vacuum; it sucks the tenderness, gentleness and honor out of the relationship.

II.  If left unchecked, anger can result not only in physical disease but also emotional and spiritual disease.  Anger may be taking a bigger toll on your relationships and life than you realize.

III.  There are three main outlets for anger:  You can (1) stuff it, (2) spew it or  (3) study it.  The good news is that if you study anger, you can learn to resolve conflict, hurt and pain in a healthy way.

This is a wonderful book to read on your own, with your spouse, or to recommend for a small group study.  However, it should come with a warning:  PLAN ON SEEING YOUR REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR.