I have been working on the same resolution for the past three years.  

To grow in my relationship with God. 

This may seem like an impossible resolution, but it has been easier than I thought it would be. A little effort has gone a long way.

At first, I added a number of things to my “to do” list.

• I will spend quiet time with God each morning.
• I will write in my journal.
• I will read the bible for 15 minutes each day.
• I will get involved in a bible study.
• I will do a devotional with my husband every evening.

I did pretty well with most items my first year, however, my enthusiasm began to wane going into my second year. Spiritual disciplines are wonderful, but they can put us on a religious “to do” treadmill. I thoroughly dislike treadmills. When you haven’t been on one for a while, all you feel is guilt.

What I’ve discovered is, I have grown my relationship with God in simple ways.  One of them is waking up each morning, and before my feet hit the floor, I say, “Good morning, God.  I love you.  Thank you for giving me another day. Please bless this day.” I may spend 5-10 minutes reading scripture, a book, or writing in my journal.  I may listen to a song or two on the radio.  Some days I do, some days I don’t.  It’s been a process to let go of the treadmill. 

If I find simple ways to spend small moments of time with God, His love rubs off on me.  And, with small injections of His love on a daily basis, I’m finding I am able to extend more love toward others.  I am working on conversing with God throughout my day as I would converse with my husband, children, parents or friends.  After all, this is a two-way stream of communication.  It can be a thought, it can be a conversation, or it can be a quick “thank you” for a blessing during my day.  Occasionally, I jot down a quick note in my journal.   The most important change, however, has been playing praise and worship music on my computer throughout the day.  I find it to be a form of continual prayer.

I see that my love is growing.  I love my husband more deeply. I have more patience, I speak with more honesty and openness, I want to do things for him without being asked, and I’ve stopped keeping score of who does more for whom.  It is changing me. 

I plan on keeping the same resolution for 2009.  

Christmas Eve was a beautiful evening with church services and time spent with our daughters, their husbands, and our four rambunctious grandchildren.  The children played and played with their toys.  The five-year old provided us with a Christmas rock concert using his new play electric guitar and headset.  It was the right kind of toy to drive his parents crazy.

Christmas Day was a quiet and lazy day for us as our daughters were visiting with their in-laws.  We decided to get out of the house and see a movie.  There has been two feet of snow this month, and cabin fever crabbiness has been evident.

As we headed out for an afternoon movie, the car started vibrating. Then the vibration would stop.  We made it to the theatre without difficulty.  As we were driving home and only a mile from our home, the car stopped completely.  It would not move forward in Drive, it would not Reverse, and it would not stay in Park.

Luckily, we were in a residential neighborhood. I inspired my husband to go across the street to a house that had lights on.  He knocked on the door to ask if we could push the car into their driveway and order a tow for first thing in the morning.  The man in the house refused to let us put the car in his driveway, as it would be an inconvenience to his guests.  Believe it or not, my husband still wished him a Merry Christmas.

We called the police department, since we were sitting in the middle of the street, and they called a tow truck for us.  As we sat waiting with our emergency blinkers on full alert, no less than twenty cars drove around us.  We were okay,  the engine was running and kept us warm,  but not one car stopped to see if we needed help.  I said to my husband, “The spirit of Jesus is missing from these people’s lives.  We need to pray for them.”

It wasn’t the Christmas Day we expected.  Perhaps, God wanted us to experience a different kind of Christmas. 

Philippians 2:7 (NIV)

but made himself nothing,

      taking the very nature[b] of a servant,

          being made in human likeness.

The Message translates the same verse as follows:

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process.

I heard this verse again last week.  I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind as I prepare or Christmas.  Yes, I wish to celebrate my Savior’s birth, but I also wish to remember what He has done for me. He took the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  Often the word “servant” is translated in The Bible as “slave”.  A slave was some who had no freedom. Who was bound by chains.  Someone like me, or like you.

There are chains that cover our eyes, diminishing our ability to love others and see them through God’s eyes. 

• Ask God to remove the chains from your eyes.

There are chains that hold us in bondage to anger and bitterness toward family members, neighbors, and co-workers.

• Ask God to remove the chains that cover your heart.

There are chains that bind us to sinful choices that break our marriage vows to love, respect, cherish, honor, and remain faithful.

• Ask God to remove the chains of a self-serving attitude.

There are chains that bind us to overspending, overeating, alcohol, drugs, and pornography.

• Ask God to remove the chains of addiction.

Thank you, God, for sending your Son set us free from the chains that bind us. Thank you for loving us more than we can comprehend.

May you and your family have a blessed Christmas as you contemplate and celebrate the birth of our Savior - Jesus Christ.

As I listened to the message in church this weekend, there is one particular sentence spoken by the pastor that pierced my heart.  “Jesus did not come to this earth to keep things status quo, he came to turn things upside down with His love - and that includes you.”

So often I get into this place of comfort with myself, and how I decide to love or not love others. When God feels it’s time for a heart change, I fight with all my might to resist that change.  I throw an adult temper tantrum by saying, “No, no, no. I don’t want to. You can’t make me.”

This becomes particularly evident in marriage. We become overly comfortable in how we interact with our spouse. When little effort is made, boredom, restlessness, and complacency slowly creep into our day-to-day interactions.  We may say to ourselves, “It’s not up to me to change, and bring excitement and love back into my marriage. I’ve tried a hundred times.”  What if God is nudging you to change, and love your spouse differently?  Are you willing to let His love turn you upside down?

What do you think would happen to your marriage if you said -

• “Yes, God.  I will follow your example of love today.”
• “I will ask my spouse how I can help them.”
• “I will plan a date night this week.”
• “I will call the babysitter.” 
• “I will get up and comfort our crying child tonight.”
• “I will make a cup of coffee for him or her this morning.”
• “I will take care of the bills that need to be paid.”
• “I will send a text message or email to say ‘I love you’.”
• “I will be the one who initiates intimacy.”

It’s amazing what happens when you say ‘yes‘ to change.   The effort it takes is much less that you think.  Surrender to God, and daily doses of love toward our spouse, have a way of bringing blessings to a marriage. 

It’s that time of year when the stress of the Christmas Season starts to creep up on us, and it mysteriously pulls joy right out of our brains.  Shopping, cooking, wrapping presents, and family dynamics are enough to turn anyone into a scrooge.

We had a super warm winter day recently of 46 degrees. No parkas, long underwear, scarves and gloves were needed.  Yipee! Time to hang the Christmas lights.

Our neighborhood decorates the avenue trees with green lights on the trunk, and red lights throughout the branches.  It’s a beautiful winter wonderland where hundreds of trees are decorated.  There is one problem…most of our neighbors have two trees to decorate and we have a corner lot, which provides the opportunity to decorate SIX trees!

After two hours of hanging lights with my husband, we were lofting fireballs of criticism at each other about the “right” way to hang lights that could have melted any remaining snow on the ground.  Then my husband started whistling Jingle Bells, and I cracked up.

Rather than become relational scrooges during the Christmas season, I asked my husband if I should hire a handyman to help me hang our lights next year. No, he’d prefer to whistle Jingle Bells and watch me laugh.

I have a special prayer request.  I have to admit it is a selfish one.

I am waiting for a publisher to pick up my first book project.   As my agent has expressed to me, “If you are in this for instant gratification, then the publishing business is not for you.”   

I understand that waiting on God’s timing is a good thing.  He has always shown himself to be faithful, and the results are better than I could have ever dreamt.  I can look back and see where His blessings have slowly interwoven themselves through each situation.  The problem is, it’s so doggone hard to wait.

To provide you with a little background information, the premise of my first book is based on The Marriage Minute Daily Devotional offered at Growthtrac.com.  I have written new Marriage Minutes, intertwined scripture, and added short stories.  Similar to the Marriage Minute Daily Devotional, it’s meant to be short and sweet daily moments to think about your marriage. Many of our devoted readers have written to us over the years because they love to put Marriage Minutes into cards, or make anniversary and birthday gifts with them.  A man in Pennsylvania e-mailed us a copy of the marriage proposal to his girlfriend (it looked like a playbill for a Broadway play) with a Marriage Minute inside the proposal.

There appeared to be a very interested publisher who kept me on pins and needles for sixteen months as they kept asking for revisions and formatting tweaks.   Unfortunately, they came back to my agent last month and said, “no thanks.”  I keep praying… and this week, good news came that another publisher is interested.  They requested commitments from marriage experts who will provide additional wisdom and morsels of marriage advice for the book.   I am excited to say that several authors have been kind enough to say they are willing to contribute.

I believe God still has a lot to teach me about patience.  Perhaps, that is why this book-writing journey is taking so long.  Send up a little prayer for an infusion of patience after you finish reading this today - I would be grateful.

There was an article in the Chicago Tribune this weekend about a couple that practices what they preach. The bride and groom are teachers of abstinence in the Chicago Public Schools and only kissed on the cheek during their courtship.  It’s interesting that the groom-to-be found other ways to show affection by serving his fiancee in tangible ways.  It spoke volumes about his dedication to her.

This is unbelievably refreshing to see a newspaper headline that is positive.  The reporter did not ridicule a couple for a decision that is counter-cultural. I think they should have had the front-page headline.

In over ten years of doing pre-marital mentoring, my husband and I witnessed one couple make a similar decision. The couple said, “If we would be embarrassed to do something in front of our parents, then it’s an easy decision not to.” Their marriage is doing very well, and they feel God has blessed them for holding to His standard of purity prior to marriage.

I wish more couples were willing to try it God’s way.