In my last post called Sideways, I said I would let you know what I discovered about myself after moments of quietness with God.

I have been awake with no alarm the past two days between 5:00 and 5:30am. Funny, how God provides a spirit of restlessness when I need to spend extra time with him. I made myself a cup of Chai tea and sat down at my desk with my bible. Quietness. No one was up or stirring - except my cat, Frankie. She was searching for treats.

As I quietly sat at my desk yesterday morning asking God to turn me right side up again, there were three very clear words that came to my mind: abide, rest, and refresh. I randomly opened by bible, and Proverbs 23:12 was staring me in the face, which says, “Commit yourself to instruction, listen carefully to words of knowledge.”

Across the page from this verse was a devotional by Charles E. Cerling entitled - Mature Honesty, Conviction, Truth. The first two sentences said, ‘Assertiveness means that you let others know your true thoughts feelings, or desires about a situation. This is nothing more than being honest with that person but doing so in a way that is not a threat to them or apologizing for making your desires known.’

I realized I had two things to work on to alleviate being sideways. First, God wants me to rest more, stay with him in quietness, and refresh myself - prayer and bible reading is optional. It’s that simple.

Second, after talking to my husband and my children, they did not feel I had been impatient recently or holding back on sharing my feelings. I decided to speak with a co-worker who confirmed we were sideways in our relationship. However, before making the call, I wrote down my thoughts, so I could speak my true feelings and desires about a situation we are not seeing eye-to-eye on. We still didn’t agree, but I tried to reconcile things to the best of my ability.

Over the past few days, God has shown me, I don’t always have to agree with everyone in my life. My honest thoughts and opinions do matter. It’s okay to let them be known. But, before I share them, the best thing to do is rest, abide, and refresh myself with God by my side.