Choices

We make choices every day: to sin and walk away from God or walk toward him. We make the same choices in our marriage – to walk toward our spouse or walk away from them. The consequences of our choices will build a stronger marriage or slowly chip away at its foundation. We can point a finger at our spouse or take an honest look in the mirror and confront the choices we make.

I have to consider my obedience to God in choosing my husband. Did I pick a man who was in love with the Lord? No. Did he hunger for the Lord in every aspect of his life? No. Was he fully devoted to him with daily prayer and accountability with other men? No.  So, in my husband choice, I was not fully obedient to God. And, with that willful choice, I’ve walked through painful consequences in my marriage.  Many of these choices had to do with my personal distance from God too.

We are both on the same page spiritually now.   Great healing has taken place in our marriage. It’s been a very long and hard road. God has been gracious and faithful in helping us build the marriage he wanted for us from the beginning – but, we had to be willing participants.

I am reminded of the potter’s hand in Isaiah 64:8 -

And yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay,
and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand.

God has me on the potter’s wheel trying to shape me and mold me, so he can use me. I start to get a little wobbly with sin through my words, actions and selfishness toward my husband. Then I start to tilt over. All of a sudden, to catch me from completely falling off the wheel – whomp – the hand of his love comes down and starts to reshape me into a beautiful vessel for his use again. I imagine him saying, “Not your way my dear child, let me show you my way.”

It took many years for me to discover that my choices were not going to build a healthy marriage. I was the one who needed to change, not my husband.