I love the title of this new book that crossed my desk this week — If God Disappears, 9 Faith Wreckers & What To Do About Them by David Sanford.

Perks your interest doesn’t it?  Well, it certainly did mine.   I could not put this book down.  I read it in a day and a half. 

I know there have been periods in my life where I have felt the absence of God’s presence, wondering where he wandered off to and why my prayers go unanswered. There have been other times where I have deliberately shut God out.

If you are experiencing a personal crisis of faith, or are spiritually drifting, this book is a great reminder that no matter what you are going through, God is still there to be found. 

Not only will you purchase a copy for yourself, you’ll purchase additional copies for family and friends.

A Side Note:

David owns Sanford Communications, a literary and editorial agency.  They are guiding and supporting me through my first book project.  Hopefully, in the near future, I will have a very interested publisher.

As winter settled over the Chicago area this January, I noticed that once we came home from church on Sundays, my husband and I were sitting in front of our computers responding to unanswered e-mails or finishing the details of various projects. Our weekdays are filled with 8+ hour days on the computer, and our weekends were quickly filling up too.

Over a period of two weeks I prayed about this. Something was churning in the middle of my stomach, and I couldn’t quite get a grasp on what was bothering me. Then, as I was reading through Exodus one morning, it hit me as I came across chapter 20:8-10.

Remember to observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
You have six days each week for your ordinary work,
but the seventh day is a Sabbath day of rest
dedicated to the LORD your God.

Technology is a wonderful thing, but it draws us further and further away from interaction with family members and quietness with God. We isolate ourselves by sitting in front of a screen and fill our days and weeks with more work than we can possibly handle. Our world becomes so filled with noise, distractions and things to do; we fail to take time for rest.

I brought this up to my husband and the look on his face was priceless. His eyes came close to popping out of his head as they enlarged with the sensation of panic. He gulped, and then said, “No computer on Sundays?” I replied with, “Don’t you feel we need to give it a try?”

The first few Sundays showed definitive signs of withdrawal as we aimlessly tried to fill up the hours after church. After several weeks, we discovered we were having deeper conversations, finding new places and things to explore, had time to read, and time to cuddle on the couch and watched some great movies. There was time to simply enjoy each other’s company. Some afternoons, we enjoyed wonderful naps. We tried playing board games or doing puzzles, which hasn’t worked for us, but it may be worth trying for your family. We found we spent more time with extended family too. Fixing a big meal for all of us is work — remember, it’s a day of rest. Pizza or sandwiches are a great alternative.

Remembering the Sabbath has been a good thing.

Maybe it’s something to consider?

A new study released August 25, 2008 by the Barna Group called Young Adults and Liberals Struggle with Morality.

Questions were asked about eight behaviors with moral overtones that the participants may have engaged in during the past week. What I found extremely fascinating (not surprising) is the growing acceptance of profanity, gambling, intentional exposure to pornography, lying, getting drunk, sex before marriage, retaliating against someone, and gossip. The most alarming outcome of the survey was the moral patterns among young adults under the age of 25, who were twice as likely to engage in behaviors considered morally inappropriate by traditional standards.

The new label being thrown out there for 18-24 years olds is Mosaics.  I’d say ‘colorful’ is a great way to describe their moral compass. Mosaics appear to have had little exposure to traditional moral teaching and limited accountability for such behavior. If this age group has had little exposure to moral teaching, what does that say about the influence of their parents and grandparents?

Wives, husbands, moms, dads, and grandparents —
We have an obligation to get our marriages on track by working toward Christ-centeredness and stop the drift toward self-centeredness. We are responsible for shifting the moral trajectory of our families. It is not the government’s job or a teacher’s job — it is our job. If we don’t make the necessary changes in ourselves to stop using profanity, stop drinking, stop gossiping, stop engaging in sex outside of marriage, stop lying, stop gambling, and stop the desire for retribution — it’s likely our children or grandchildren will be labeled ‘The Doomed Generation’.

Seriously, it is okay to read the bible as a family and use it as our moral guide. It is okay to teach our kids about Jesus. It is okay to attend church services, and it is okay to talk about God and the beauty of what he created when we take family vacations. It is okay to have a no swearing rule in our homes, say no to questionable shows on TV, and put blocks on certain cable channels. It is OK to install pornography filters on computers, say no to R rated movies, and work on learning what forgiveness is all about. It is okay to tell our children sex is special and meant for marriage, and they will be emotionally and spiritually healthier people if they wait. It is okay to tell them we are not happy with their decision to live with someone before they get married. It is okay. Our children may not like us… but that’s not a problem.

They’ll thank us for it later.

On a playground as you listen to the interaction of children, you might hear the words —‘You’re not the boss of me!’ Unfortunately, the very same scenario plays out as we grow up and get married.

A good marriage has healthy boundaries and accountability. To be considerate of our spouse, their feelings, and need for security, we no longer can do things as we darn well please. After all, we have a spouse who needs to know what we’re up to and when we’ll be home. It’s not nagging — it’s accountability. Unfortunately, the words you’re not the boss of me, can still be heard years later as they apply to our marriage,

The switch from ‘me-ness’ to ‘we-ness’ is extremely easy for some of us during the first year of marriage. For others, the transition is extremely complicated. A few challenges that present themselves are:

• Co-mingling finances
• Calling when you’re running late
• Comparing calendars
• Joint decision-making
• Time with friends
• Church/volunteer obligations

There’s nothing like having someone standing in front of us, arms crossed and foot taping who says, “I’m sorry honey, but that’s not possible today. Your response, “I made plans.” This translates to, “I made plans with no consideration for you.” Reaction to this conflict may sound similar to our playground days — you’re not the boss of me!

If we take a deeper look at our reactions, it has a lot to do with our desire for independence and not wanting someone to control us. After all, we’re adults now, and we should be able to make our own plans when we want and how we want.

God didn’t design our marriages to operate optimally with an attitude of; you’re not the boss of me. He designed them to operate with an attitude of; I will do everything possible to work toward mutual understanding and respect without childish responses.

1 Corinthians 13:11(NLT)
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child.
But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

God should be the CEO of our marriages. As the boss, his job description includes the following:

• To implement the strategic goals and objectives of a marriage.
• To give direction and leadership toward the achievement of marriage philosophy, mission, strategy, annual goals and objectives.
• Vision

Continue shouting at the top of your lungs you’re not the boss of me and the dreams, goals and oneness you long for in marriage will be difficult to achieve.

In all honesty, the feelings of love for my husband have been up and down during our marriage. Instead of gently pulling the petals off a daisy saying, “ He loves me, he loves me not”; I pulled petals saying, “Maybe I love him, maybe I don’t.” At one point, I said, “I don’t love him now, I don’t think I ever loved him.”

Surprising statements from a woman who once had an intense and overwhelming love for the man she married. My husband was the love of my life. We had a close and intense intimacy that was built on honesty, trust and openness. We hid nothing. He was the first man I trusted.

How did I get to a place of pulling daisy petals saying, “ I don’t love him now, I don’t think I ever loved him?”

I lost contact with The One who first loved me. The One who knew me before I knew myself. The Lover of my soul.

My first love — Jesus Christ.

After our first introduction, I hungered to be near Jesus, to speak with him constantly, to know him more deeply and learn about his love for me. Our relationship was built on openness, trust and a sharing attitude. It felt so good to be fully understood.

Unfortunately, my husband was jealous of my first love. He had no desire to know him, and it made our marriage miserable. Due to the disparity in our spiritual compatibility over a two-year period, I became angry with God and made subtle choices to grow further and further away from him. After all, if my first love was causing problems in my marriage, I should be cautious in my level of commitment.

I filled my life with work, my children and busyness to build a brick wall between my heart and Christ. When I look back of that period of time, it coincides with the loss of love for my husband. I came dangerously close to walking away from my marriage… and away from God.

If you lose the hunger and desire for your first love, love begins oozing out of your heart and is replaced with bitterness, resentment and coldness. It’s impossible to say you love Christ in one breath, and no longer love another human being in the next breath. The two statements do not compute.

Draw yourself back into the arms of your first love. Get to know Him again by spending time together growing and deepening your intimacy. Ask God to renew your love for your spouse with greater intensity than when you first met. Be prepared… he will surprise you!

I have been given a wonderful gift from my first love — my husband.

Whether we admit it our not, our first love has the greatest impact on our lives.

I am a long time admirer of the God-given talent of Chris Tomlin going back to his early days with Passion.  Watching God use this gifted songwriter has been a privilege. I have so enjoyed the music from his 2006 RIAA Gold-certified record, See the Morning, I couldn’t possibly imagine deeper inspiration and worship with a new album. I am amazed again.

I had an opportunity to listen to his latest album, with my husband on the way to church last week. It will be released September 2, 2008.

We had the windows rolled down in the car and the volume at top decibel levels, worshiping God all the way to church. Anyone greeting us when we walked in for service probably wondered what kind of happy pills we took that morning.

I loved every song on this album, but my absolute favorites were “God of This City” and “Sing, Sing, Sing”. The next closest favorite is the one being played on radio right now called, “Jesus, Messiah”.

On the back cover it says — We need to introduce ourselves to love again.

Tomlin explains, “With each new record, I continue to strive to create songs that will help people voice their worship to God. I hold this as a great responsibility when I begin to think about what the overall recording will look like. Worship is a massive word with a very broad scope, but in the end, it is very simple. It is love! It’s our response in love to our great God who loved us first.”

“Hopefully these songs will renew in some way or stir up again your love for God and His people.”

No doubt — they will.

I love chocolate. I enjoy it mixed with anything fruity.  Orange or raspberry filling, fruit syrup, and plain old strawberries and bananas = yum!  However, I am married to a certified chocoholic. He loves anything chocolate.

While on vacation a few years ago, we found a small sign for our kitchen that says, ‘Chocolate Makes Life Better’.  It sits inconspicuously on the cabinet over our stove. Anyone who finds this hidden treasure when visiting our home, always cracks a smile and says, “I like the way the two of you think.”

I recently finished reading a new book called Chocolate Kisses for Marriage by Cindy Sigler Dagnan.  It’s filled with delicious recipes and anecdotes for sweetening your marriage.

The book provides delicious joys to be discovered when a couple:

• Embraces romance and treasures of everyday life
• Creates rich dialogue with Chocolate Covered questions
• Shapes boundaries that protect and nurture your marriage
• Experiences sex that is so much better than chocolate — really!
• Leaves a legacy of faith and commitment and laughter

I wanted to share with you a few of the new Marriage Minutes that will be playing on Growthtrac Radio as well as several other stations throughout the USA. Enjoy.

Controlling the effects of The Not Tonight Syndrome is relatively easy.  The manifestations of this illness are instantly treatable and found in The Book of Human Health and Healing (The Bible).  There is one great physician whose research is found throughout this book, and he is known to do miraculous healing.  He has sources that heal a diseased, dying and hardened heart, and will bring it back to full health.  The most powerful cure in the world is available; yet, it continues to be refused by millions.

I found three cures in The Book of Human Health and Healing.  They are as follows:

Cure # 1 — Song of Songs
This chapter provides a couple with detailed dose-by-dose instructions on how to restore sexual health.

Cure #2 — 1 Corinthians 7: 3-6 (MSG)
If a couple misses a few doses of their medication, this passage warns them of the implications.

It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them together.

Cure #3 — 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (Paraphrased)

To better understand the second cure, we must dig deeper into understanding the third cure.

Love has no need but to give. Love is self-sacrificing. There is no ego in love, there is no self-identity in love, and there is no pride in love.  Love does not hold power over another. Love is not withheld.  Love is made in God’s image, not my own.  Love becomes twisted, ugly, demanding, suffocating and causes harm when seen through the magnetic images of my heart.

In order for marriages to survive The NotTonight Syndrome, we have to infuse ourselves with injections of God’s love and his word.  Failure to take the required daily dosage means death is inevitable.

Most symptoms of the syndrome disappear in a very short period of time, if a couple adheres to the following course of treatment.

• Selfishness is emptied into biohazard waste disposal containers.
• Daily pride pills are swallowed.
• Daily half-hour massages that target talking, hugging or kissing.
• The heart monitor is plugged into Heaven’s power grid.
• Weekly cosmetic plastic surgery is performed to change our image into one that more closely resembles Christ’s.
• Daily love injections.
• A heart transplant is performed and anti-rejection drugs are administered.
• Three-day weekend hospital stays at least twice a year, with a hookup to IV love fluids.  Rest and relaxation are the doctor’s orders.

Exposure to heart contaminants can pose serious health consequences.  A failure to properly and safely remove such substances can contribute to unhealthy and dangerous home environments.

We know the cure.  It’s time to spread the good news.

There is a serious sexual illness being found in marriages called The NotTonight Syndrome. This disorder is reaching such epidemic proportions that it’s dangerously close to infectious disease designation.
 
Skyrocketing cases are making married couples so ill; some leave their homes to find the cure with strangers of the opposite sex. Long-term symptoms include anger, indifference, frustration, sadness, resignation, and amnesia.

Check out the marriage forums at www.growthtrac.com/boards/ and you’ll become very aware of the dangers as this illness spreads.

Here is a list of the most common symptoms.  Seek immediate help if more than two are recognizable.

• Pecks on the cheek with limited lip action.
• Fingers curl up and form fists from lack of intertwining. 
• Arms begin losing muscle-hugging tone.
• Body parts shrivel up and die.
• ‘I love you’ disappears from the anterior cingulate of the brain that stores feelings of euphoria.
• Hypnotic trances in front of the television.
• Hearing loss.
• Begging, pleading and foot stomping.
• Eyes that roll upward.
• Mom-child-dad sandwiches are found in parents’ beds.
• Over-stimulation from computer screens.
• Headaches.
• Sexual contact has not been possible for one month or more.
• Delusional thoughts that paradise is found in greener pastures.

I have been doing research for the past several years, and believe I may have found the cure. 

Look for Part Two soon.